1. You can't go out of the house without wearing a bra that will strap you the fuck in. 2. And you can't run without feeling pain...in your boobs. 3. You can't wear graphic tees and actually expect people to be able to see them. 4. Or wear a button-down anything, really. 5. You can't wear bralettes without stepping into the DANGER ZONE, in general. 6. And you can't expect your boobs to actually behave themselves and stay put for once. 7. You can't shop for shirts without running into this fun problem: 8. And you can't go bra shopping outside of the neutral color zone. 9. You can't eat your own damn food without also feeding your ladies some. 10. And you can't show off any of your cleavage without distracting everyone around you. 11. You can't wear the same thing your small-chested friend is wearing and not have it look completely different. 12. You can't buy things with built-in bras, because LOL....